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Weird gift, mom! Dan Savage, beloved sex writer and podcaster, simply states"Facials are degrading — and that's why they're so hot. But if

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The cold, slimy embrace of their semen, sliding down your leg. Creating a damp patch on the bed. Sitting in between your butt cheeks. They never mention this bit in sex ed.

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While women are busy fighting for equality and a better world, most dudes are spending their day looking around for that special mermaid that will let him cum directly on her face. How could we forget this even for a second? Even if he did find a mermaid, she would literally never go for the kind of dude who wants to cum on her pretty mermaid face.

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One of the many joys of semen hi, mom is that it can go in you, on you, around you, on that old Che Guevara poster your old roommate left in your living room that you've been too lazy to take down — anywhere! Here are some important things to consider before you are baptized in some dude's magical life-giving seed. Or you could just skip all these tips and watch those Oikos commercials with John Stamos.

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If you're new here, you may want to get my discreet newsletter to learn how to make him sexually obsessed with you and only you. Click here to get it. It's free.

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Today I am handing over the bitch topia reigns to my friend Lola, she wants to tell you all about the time she let three men cum on her face. Hi everyone! My name is Lola and I am taking over the blog today, I have an amazing story to share with you all, I have begged Jess to let me share it and finally, here I am.

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  • Lamar 19 days ago

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  • Casey 24 days ago

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  • Aiden 5 days ago

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